Jim goes into a confessional and says "Forgive me Father, for I have
sinned, last night I had sex with a woman who is not my wife."

The Priest says "Son, I cannot grant you absolution unless you tell me her
name. Who was this woman?"

Jim says "Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that red-haired hussey Maureen O'Flahherty?"

"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that adulterous Sheila Calhoun?"

"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that brazen Mary Callaghan?"

"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that wicked woman Kathleen O'Connor?"

"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Well, if you will not tell me her name, I cannot grant you
absolution. Begone!"

So Jim leaves the church and meets his friend Jonno outside.

Jonno says "Hey Jim, you're not a Catholic, surely you weren't trying to
get absolution?"

Jim says "Nah, just picking up some tips..."